Cynthia Paulk- If You Just Knew the Joy
Exploring faith journeys and inspiring ministries that embody the good news of God. This is the Cumberland Road. I'm your host, TJ Malinoski. Today, Cynthia Paulk joins us on Cumberland Road. Cynthia is an elder at the First Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Lubbock, Texas. She has spent her professional career in elementary music as a school teacher and administration. One of the things that Cynthia has shared is she has a passion for education, and now her passion is for Jesus. Cynthia, thank you for joining me today.
Cynthia:Thank you so much, TJ. Thanks for asking me to do this. It's an honor to be with you today.
T.J.:I want to begin by asking you, can you recall your earliest experience with God?
Cynthia:You know, I don't know that I can say I recall that early experience. I was raised in the church, I was raised in Presbyterian churches, not Cumberland, but Presbyterian churches. My dad worked for an oil company, so we moved quite a bit. So I have experiences, lots of different church experiences over a variety of areas. But I think that was probably my first exposure to Christ religion was in the church.
Cynthia:You know, I'm very involved in the church as a youngster, went to a private church school. I'm old enough to remember the time when kindergarten was not mandatory. So I was lucky, yeah, I know that puts me in a certain age range. But I went to a private kindergarten. So that was also a religious experience too, which I appreciate that over the years.
Cynthia:But I think going through catechism, went through catechism classes before I joined the church and I joined the church in middle school, junior high back then. So I think youth group and just the experiences I had in church, that was my early beginnings. That was where I really learned, I think about God and about Christ. I didn't continue that through my adult life. I was involved in the church all the way through college, but then drifted away from that.
Cynthia:And I look back at that as work became a lot more important to me, and there just wasn't enough time in my mind to continue with church.
T.J.:What brought you back? Granted a relationship with Christ and a relationship with the church is Right. Different, but what brought you back to the faith, so to speak?
Cynthia:Okay. Well, I've always been a believer and I'm grateful for that, you know, but I wasn't walking with Christ. And I think that makes a big difference. What brought me back was a serious work situation. Work had been my passion, you were saying, you know, I had a passion for education.
Cynthia:I absolutely adored teaching. Who could not love teaching elementary music? Sing and you dance all day. And the skills that you teach, I mean, to me, was just amazing. I absolutely love teaching.
Cynthia:I moved into administration when it got a little bit too hard to get up and down off the floor with the kids. I couldn't dance anymore eight hours a day. And I thought, well, I don't wanna do this halfway. I wanna make sure that whoever's teaching this can do it adequately physically. So I made it to administration, which I also really enjoyed.
Cynthia:I enjoyed doing that. And you and I were talking a little bit earlier about that was a real meteoric rise for me. I thought music therapy was going to be my next path, and that door didn't open. So my husband Joe had always said, you you really need to look into administration because I think you'd be a great administrator. So in two weeks, I was back in school.
Cynthia:And in eighteen months, I was an assistant principal.
T.J.:Wow.
Cynthia:And during the six month period, went from an administrator, an assistant at the campus where I had taught to an administrator for an assistant for a new campus that was going to open. When that principal stayed at his current campus, I became the principal of that new campus. So within a six month period, I was thrown into this really tough job of opening a new campus. So I thought, everything went great for about three years. And then I had a real serious health issue.
Cynthia:Probably brought upon really by stress. I think a lot of that was stress, that's a stressful job. So anybody that's in school leadership will say that's a stressful job. So I had an issue with some teachers that came up after three years. They didn't like some of the things that I was trying to do.
Cynthia:And so they filed a complaint and that caused me to be reassigned. And so that reassignment was devastating for me. For some people, you look at it and think, well, it's just a job. I mean, it was just, it was more than that to me. So when it's your passion, and when you're living that passion, and it comes to a crashing halt, brings you to your knees in a hurry.
Cynthia:And that's what happened to me. So I think that experience of, oh my gosh, I don't have this anymore. This is not me anymore. My identity is changing and that was huge. And so that experience brought me back to Christ and brought me back in a huge way.
Cynthia:I'm pretty stubborn. And I'm more than pretty stubborn. I'm probably very stubborn. So I think for God to bring me back, it had to be a huge scenario. And that's what happened.
Cynthia:You know, it was enough to really bring me to my knees. When you're in that situation, you know, you look up and hopefully you come back to Christ. And I'm so, so grateful for that because that's what happened to me. And I think when you can look at that fork in the road and say, you know what, we all have those and I probably had them my whole life. I'm sure I did, but I never made that choice.
Cynthia:And so when he brought me to that situation, oh my goodness, that's the best thing that ever happened, because it brought me back to a walk of faith with him.
T.J.:Cynthia, was this a lightning bolt experience or was this more of a gradual, growing closer to God?
Cynthia:The initial part was a lightning bolt. You know, it was so devastating to me and it it caused me to really examine myself and to examine what God wanted for me. But I remember that happened in June. And so the summer, I had the summer, you know, worked twelve months, so that's my contract, but I had some time because I was being reassigned. So I had some time to think about and to read and to look at what was next for me.
Cynthia:And I think that period of time when God was transforming me, I had a chance to really dig deeper than I would have normally. And then after the hurt that I went through was really hard. And so it took several weeks of me reaching out, reaching out, reading. As I say, or I told you in my biography that I sent, I had a Jesus Calling that had been a really great table decoration for years, but I hadn't read it. And so that was the first thing I pulled out.
Cynthia:Those nights that I was awake thinking, why did this happen to me? What happened? I read that. And then I pulled out my Bible and I started reading that. And after about, I want to say maybe that happened in June, so maybe August, boy, the difference in my heart was amazing.
Cynthia:I had allowed the Holy Spirit to come in, and it made a huge difference for me. And I think that just that period of healing, of course, that it wasn't over for me as far as the hurt and the healing, you know, that went on for another quite a long time. But that part of it to get to that point where I had let the Holy Spirit in my heart made things so much better for me.
T.J.:What was it about the workings of the Holy Spirit that helped you let go of some of the pain and some of the hurt?
Cynthia:Well, joy, you know, that's what I tell people all the time too. If you just knew, if you just knew letting Jesus into your heart was gonna make such a difference, you would all be doing it. You would all jump on this. You would be so excited about walking with Jesus. Not everybody gets to that point or sees it that way, but that's the way I see it.
Cynthia:So I think what made the difference for me was the joy my heart plus the experience that God was still leading me through. I didn't leave the school district, although I wanted to at the time, I stayed, but God put me with some amazing people. He put me within an office building with two other people that were very much farther in their walk of faith, that loved me and that helped me heal. And so all of the people that he put me with during that time helped me heal. And I had this joy in my heart now that was helping me too.
Cynthia:He also put me in the path of the people who I'd had an issue with. And that was deliberate, because to heal, I had to face that. And I made a concerted effort to make sure that I spoke and that I was kind, even though it was hard. And sometimes it was not in my heart to be kind. But I knew that that's what God wanted me to do.
Cynthia:And so I did it, and that helped me heal. I also started praying for all of the people that I felt like I had had an issue started praying for them and I had that in my prayer journal. So when I look back at my prayer journal in 2014, that those were the people I was praying for. And I was praying for that healing in my heart too. And then God led us to Cumberland, the first Cumberland in Lubbock, and that was huge for us too, because that sweet church family, which we love every one of them, accepted us and brought us into the fold and made my healing so much better.
T.J.:How did you find the Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Lubbock?
Cynthia:Well, you know, we, at about August, I guess after this happened, and the other thing too that I'm grateful for is that Joe and I both came back to our walk of faith at the same time. And that I think is a real blessing when you and your spouse are walking that walk together, I think that's a huge blessing. We were ready for a church. I looked online, I'd been raised Presbyterian and I thought, well, let me just kinda see if maybe there's something there that God wants us to do. And I found the First Cumberland website, webpage and it was really good.
Cynthia:And I thought maybe we should visit, it's not far from our house, it's a close drive for us. So we did, we visited in August and left thinking, wow, we really like this church, everybody's, they're nice and we like it, but we'll look around some more. You know, we're not gonna make a decision yet. Well, the next Sunday came around and we both said, why are we gonna go look if we really like this church? So we went back.
Cynthia:And then we realized after a couple more times, we thought this is probably where God wants us. This is where we think God is leading us. And as I look back on that now, I know that's where God led us. You know, if you let God do that, then he will take you to the right place. And so that's how we ended up there.
T.J.:You got sucked in by the Cumberland Presbyterian Church. We did. Fast forward just a little bit. You're in leadership. You're an elder.
Cynthia:Yeah. Right.
T.J.:I wanna go back to your faith in Jesus Christ. And how is that faith, if you could describe it, given you purpose today?
Cynthia:Well, absolutely, that has given me purpose. You know, I lost my purpose, what I thought my purpose was when I didn't have my educational purpose to lean on anymore. And so I felt pretty lost for that summer. I thought, what am I gonna do? You know, this has been my life.
Cynthia:This has been everything that I've worked for. And now it's not there anymore. God gave us that church and it's not just the church, but He gave us that as a vehicle to use my gifts. So I think being placed at First Cumberland gave us an opportunity to use those gifts and that gave me a purpose. And so the purpose that I had at that time was to be super involved in the church.
Cynthia:And that's what we did. Joe and I joined First Cumberland with the intention to do everything that God asked us to do as far as service. We wanted to be involved. We joined with the intention of really being involved in everything that happened in the church. And we did, and we still do, you know, that's very important to us.
Cynthia:And so that gave me a purpose because my gifts were being used again. And the people in the church, the congregation, recognized those gifts and encouraged me to use them. So from a standpoint of losing a lot of confidence throughout that summer, I began to regain that confidence and to realize, God still has a purpose for me, although it's not what I thought it was gonna be, it's a wonderful purpose. And he's going to use my gifts. He's just going to use them in a different way.
T.J.:And the congregation is benefiting
Cynthia:from Oh, that's just the sweetest group of people. I know every church is wonderful, but this is just a really special group of people, and we're blessed to be part of that group.
T.J.:Well, have a challenging question for you that I often ask others. Where do you see God working in your life today?
Cynthia:You know, I think he continues to help me grow in my faith, which I think that's wonderful. And when you can do that and look at it that way, that God is gonna continue to help me grow. I think he puts me in situations all the time that are challenging, I have to look towards him. I'm not sure if this is answering your question, but a lot of experiences that I've had since I was reassigned and since my life has changed somewhat, have been way out of my skill set. Things that he puts in front of me that I think there's no way I'm gonna be able to do this.
Cynthia:You know, I don't know why you put this in front of me because I can't do this. This is not what I've trained for, this is not what I know. I learned that if you ask, God will help you. If he puts it in your path, he did it on purpose and he wants you to do it. And so you just have to say, okay, Lord, I don't know how to do this.
Cynthia:I I don't have a clue about what you're wanting me to do. But if you put it there, I'm asking you to help me. And so I have seen over and over and over God's help. And I've accomplished things that I didn't think I could ever do. Some of the gifts that I know I have and that I think I'm fairly good at are gifts and textile arts.
Cynthia:I love to work with my hands. I don't like game playing and that kind of thing as much because I want a project to come out of whatever I'm doing. I wanna see something when I'm finished. So when this pandemic started back in March, I thought, oh, you know what, I have a skill set and I have a talent that I think may help. I can sew and I enjoy that.
Cynthia:So one of my early projects during the pandemic was mask making. Who would have thought that would be something a ministry,
T.J.:Right.
Cynthia:But we're all wearing a mask. And so since March, I've probably made over 300 mask and I donated every one. Some were to school, some many were to our church and to our members of our church, but also donated quite a few to Open Door, which is a ministry for the homeless. So those kinds of things, you know, that God has allowed me to use my talents, that gave me so much joy to be able to do that. And I had people along the way saying, you know, please let me pay you.
Cynthia:But no, I wanted to do this. It was a gift that God gave me and I wanted to be able to contribute in that way. So I'm grateful for those ministries that have come along the way.
T.J.:Cynthia, you were talking about God stretching you and you being in places where it's like, oh, I don't know where and how. Mhmm. What message would you share with somebody? Because it takes trust is essentially what you're describing, trusting God. What would you share with somebody who's a bit reluctant in really kind of putting that trust into God when you're looking and feeling the unknown?
Cynthia:That that trust is huge. It really is. And I'm not I'm a control person. And it's hard for me to say, God, you take this because I can't. But some of the projects that came to me were so hard for me, you know, like agonizing hard.
Cynthia:Like, I can't believe you're asking me to do this, I know nothing about this. And then you have to say, wait a minute, I have to trust that you're gonna take me through it. And that's just not a work situation, that's a life situation. It's so hard and look at the pandemic and all that we've had to deal with in the last few months. If you don't have trust in God, how do you make it through things?
Cynthia:How survive? Do You know, I think if you get to that point, and it's a very hard thing for me to ask for help, very hard. I don't like to ask for help, I like to just take it myself and do it. But I think when you realize that if you ask, He's there for you and He will help you. I think that to me is huge, just to say, God, I don't know how to do this, please help me with it.
Cynthia:Then you're gonna see how He works. And that is amazing too, to say, oh, look, had this coming up, I didn't know what to do, and look how he helped me with that. Look at the skills he gave me, look at the help he gave me, look at the person he put in my life that says, hey, I can help you with that. Or look at the, I don't know, I'm a huge Google person. Let's all Google it and see, okay, at, he showed me where to look, or he showed me how to do that.
Cynthia:I look back at those experiences and I'm so grateful for that because that helped me trust him more. Am I where I need to be? No, I'm not, but I'm working, I'm working on it because it's all a process. You don't come back to the Lord and then just say, good, I'm done, I'm where I need to be. It's a process and you have to keep working through that process.
Cynthia:And part of that is learning to trust.
T.J.:That's hard because it requires you and I to be honest and humble and
Cynthia:That's not easy.
T.J.:No, it's not. Not every day, not all the time. Cynthia, if you had a magic wand and you could use it, what hopes, what ideas would you have for the church in the future?
Cynthia:You know, I thought about that when you said that. I I hope that the events of this past year cause a revival in the church. And I'm not talking just about Cumberland, but the church in general. Mhmm. Sometimes when you hit rock bottom, you know, and then you have to look up.
Cynthia:And so I'm not saying that God causes things to happen to us because I don't think He does. I think He allows things because He can stop everything, you know, He could change everything, but He allows things for a purpose. And so I'm hoping that we as the church look at this as this is a great opportunity for us. It's time for an outrageous revival. You know, maybe there's been complacency.
Cynthia:And I think in many ways there has been in the church. You know, it's easy to walk along and just kinda move along at the pace that you want to because you're not really challenged. But when you are challenged, maybe you need to look at this like, let's pray some outrageous prayers now. You know, our business as Christians is to bring others to the fold. It really is to bring others to Christ.
Cynthia:We forget that sometimes. We get in our own group and we're all happy with our group and we don't remember that this is really what God wants us to do. So maybe this is the time for us to say, let's do something outrageous. Let's have a huge revival in our church. Let's have meaningful conversations about how to move forward.
Cynthia:Let's use what's happened to us in a productive way. But let's rise up as a church. You know, we don't always do that. We tend to look at world events and what's going on, which is heartbreaking right now, it is. But there's a reason that God wants us as a church to rise up through this.
Cynthia:And when you have heartbreaking issues, then maybe that's what he's wanting us to do. So I'm praying some outrageous prayers right now. You know, show us what you have planned for us and help us see that through the devastation that's going on right now. Help us see what you want us to do because you still have a plan.
T.J.:Cynthia, that's great. And a challenge for me, and I think for everybody. You have to be careful what you pray for.
Cynthia:Yeah. You
T.J.:do. Because you might get.
Cynthia:But you still need to pray it.
T.J.:Yeah. Yeah. And and I asked you, hey, what what what are your hopes for the church? Cynthia, I it's been a privilege to get to know you over the past handful of years and I really am glad that you're able to share your faith journey with others because you've been an inspiration to me And I first met you at Lubbock and there's wonderful people there at the congregation. And you have a journey that is worth telling and I appreciate that.
T.J.:How can we continue to follow you on your faith journey?
Cynthia:Well, you can always reach out, look at our church website because every member of our church is all over our church website. So that's at www.cpclubbock.com. You can also look at our Facebook page, we have a really strong Facebook page. We're fortunate to have a relatively new pastor, he's been with us two years now, the youth that he and that pastor Nate and Anna bring has helped us upgrade our Facebook page and our social media, which is so important right now. So when you asked me earlier, and I wanted to mention this to you before we finish today about people who have been instrumental in your faith journey, I really wanna say that besides everybody in the church, Pastor Sam, if anybody doesn't know who Pastor Sam is, and I'm sure there's not very many who don't, but at 101 years old, he's an extremely important mentor.
Cynthia:And of course, you know, Pastor Nate. We're so fortunate to have Pastor Nate and so but you can you can reach us or you can look at what's going on with us through Facebook or through our church webpage.
T.J.:Alright. So and that's reverend Sam Estes and reverend Nate Matthews who was a previous guest on Cumberland Road.
Cynthia:Yes. Yes. We're just we're fortunate to have those spiritual mentors.
T.J.:Cynthia, thank you for your time. Thank you for listening to this episode of Cumberland Road. Grab a friend and join us on our next journey.
