Terra Sisco - God Loves Me Regardless of My Mistakes
Exploring faith journeys and inspiring ministries that embody the good news of God. This is the Cumberland Road. I'm your host, TJ Malinoski. Today, Terra Sisco joins me on Cumberland Road. Terra is originally from Pope County, Illinois. And for those who enjoy geography, that is the southern part along the Ohio River. Is a graduate from Bethel College, and she graduated from Memphis Theological Seminary. And she's currently serving the Marlow Cumberland Presbyterian Church in Marlow, Oklahoma.
T. J.:Terra, thank you for joining me.
Terra:Oh, I'm so excited to be here today. What an honor it is.
T. J.:I wanted to ask you. You have a unique story of how you became Cumberland Presbyterian. Before we jump right into that, let's go even further back into your history, and can you think back and remember some of your earliest encounters with God?
Terra:Yes. I I know that for some people it probably kind of hard to imagine, but I remember, being about three years old and I was scared of monsters, you know, being in the backyard because my my bed was right by the window and I could see the backyard. And, of course your imagination runs wild, and I would see these monsters in the backyard, and I can remember Jesus holding me and I was comforted even though I didn't quite understand who he was, I just knew this sweet presence had a hold of me. And, my mom told me later on in life, my mom worked midnights at the nursing home and I was in, this was when I was around four, I was in, preschool and I went those days you went every other day. And sometimes my mom would accidentally fall asleep, rightfully so on me because she had worked the night before, and she woke up and she apologized to me for falling asleep and she said that I said, Oh that's okay, mommy I was just talking to Jesus.
Terra:And she just kind of laughed it off because in our home we didn't go to church, Jesus wasn't really the forefront of anything, so I think for she just told me that story actually just a few years ago and I was like, I didn't know that. And she said, Yeah, you did that. So I've had a special bond with the Lord way before I even knew who the Lord was.
T. J.:That's interesting. So can you recall some other early encounters that drew you closer to the faith?
Terra:What's interesting is even though my family were not church members or anything to that, even close to that, my mom had a in the seventies they had those velvet pictures that would hang, you know, like in the living room. And it kind of looked like a rug to me when I was a kid hanging on the wall. But there, she had a picture of Jesus with the lambs and the sheep. And I was drawn to that picture always. Just something about that picture I was drawn to.
Terra:And, because my mom's mother, even in her she was an alcoholic, very very addicted to alcohol. She she had a love for the Lord, she just couldn't overcome that addiction. And so I believe that that's what was passed on to my mother was that love of the Lord through her, even though she couldn't overcome her addiction and there was a lot of bad things that happened with that addiction, there was still Jesus mentioned. And so I think that that's why my mother felt that it was important to hang that picture of Jesus because her mother had done that in the homes that they lived in. And so, I my parents divorced when I was young.
Terra:I was, I think I was seven years old when my parents divorced, and, my dad remarried really fast. It kind of was one of those years where it was just a wild time, and her, my new stepmother's father was going to a small little rural church, named New Liberty Church, but it used to be a Cumberland Presbyterian church which that'll go into where my faith story comes in at with Cumberland Presbyterians. Okay. But he was very adamant about bringing us to church and he would do it even whenever my dad and stepmom wasn't going. So, it was through that I met a, just a it was a gentleman who was a logger and he had a call to preach and he would fill the pulpit on Sundays and and, it was through his ministry that I was drawn more to Jesus, you know, me not really knowing who he was but knowing I had experienced him and obviously had been having conversations with him, you know, at an early age, it was through his ministry that I was able to understand that I needed salvation and that's whenever I became a born again Christian.
T. J.:Yeah. We often think that having faith in Jesus Christ is a a big lightning bolt experience or a, you know, one moment event, but that's not always the case. I mean, here, you you can recall some early memories in, you know, three years old, and you can just kind of see this progress and this building and this growing of our relationship. Who are some folks who've been placed in your life that have been very formative in your faith journey?
Terra:I would definitely say that that preacher's name is Junior Mott. My stepmother's grandpa, or I mean her dad, which I called my grandpa affectionately, he we actually knew him before my parents divorced, so I I really don't know life without him which was awesome because he had definitely had an influence on my my relationship with Jesus, which is really cool how God does things like that. And I've had people along the way, that God has given me one reason why I became a youth minister was because I wanted to pour into kids the way that I wish that somebody would have poured into me, as a as a kid. I didn't have that necessarily that much pouring into, in my in my youth days, but as a young adult and going to Bethel and meeting, other couple of Presbyterians and people, you know, there's so many amazing people along the way that God has placed. I don't really have just one, but I have multiple people that have poured one being for folks that are Bethel fans, Chaplin Ann Haynes, was a big influential person in my my faith walk in college and, you know, doctor Carlock, we love him.
Terra:You know, we had him in in classes and he he taught me just the simplicity of faith even though he was so he's so intelligent. He still taught me simplicity of faith. And so there's like, there's so many people, you know, that God has blessed me with, coming from a broken home, coming from a place where there was a lot of hurt and there was a lot of brokenness. It was broken people hurt and broken, you know, causing more brokenness, in in my family. And, through that time, and I believe because of, how much alone time I've had, that's why the Lord and I are so close and I feel that, you know, the Holy Spirit carried me.
Terra:I know, I know the Holy Spirit carried me in many days of my life as a young person and and even through my college and seminary days at pastoring and everything, but, the Holy Spirit definitely has been the greatest impact on my faith journey, due to how much a long time that I had as a kid. And an interesting fact too is I didn't even own a Bible till I was a senior in high school, which would probably shock a lot of people, you know. I had the my mother had a a one of those, red or I could just see it plain as day. It was a red bible and it was from the seventies and it was, King James version and I would when I was 10 years old, would try to read it and figure it out. But I didn't have a good study Bible until I was a senior in high school for Christmas.
Terra:Well,
T. J.:what do you want others to know about your faith journey? Like how have you changed over the years?
Terra:Well, know, and I know I shared with you coming from the broken family, we had alcoholism. All four of my biological grandparents were alcoholics. We had divorces, we have drug abuse, we have a lot of things in our family that I could have easily gone another way, but God had a hold of me in those early years which led me into just falling more and more in love with him and loving people. And then when I became a pastor, I graduated from seminary and, I was called to a, a small area called North City, Illinois. It was about an hour north of where I grew up and a wonderful congregation.
Terra:They were amazing, still are today, we're still in touch today. They were very instrumental in my faith journey, as a young I was 25 when, I was called there and I was young and, as far as chronological goes, but I was wise beyond my years because of what I went through as a child. And they were patient with me. So having said that, I experienced on my faith journey, I really experienced what grace is, what kindness is, forgiveness, that's a big thing because when I was growing up, would, making a mistake was a big deal, you know, if you spilt a glass of milk you were yelled at for that. And that's just because I'm not blaming my parents because they just were in a situation where they were a product of what they grew up in, and it was a cycle.
Terra:And, so no blame on my parents at all by any means, but that was I was meant to think that I could not make a mistake, and through that pastorate I learned that I can make mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes, you know, and that God's grace is bigger than those mistakes. And so as I grew in that God's grace and in my next pastor I learned, how to love the unlovable. That really was a lesson I learned in my next pastorate, how to, love people right where they are and not have a pre conception of sometimes people just are gonna reject you. It's just the way it is.
Terra:They're not gonna like your hair, they're not gonna like your, you know, the way you do things, But you that you know through that pastorate I learned that you just love people no matter what because that's who God is. God is love and God has called me to love my neighbor as myself. And so that was a big learning lesson and in this pastored at Marlowe this is interesting and I have to share this because I hope this encourages somebody that's either going into the ministry right now that's going listen to this podcast or that has been in ministry for years and they're just kind of at a place where they're like, don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know, you know, that desert place that we get into sometimes. When I first came to Marlowe, it seemed like that I had a lot of funerals, and it was a small congregation to begin with. They had been through a lot, they experienced a split probably about seven years prior to my coming.
Terra:The pastor that was before me, had to do a lot of mending and loving where they were and bringing peace into the congregation. And, so it was they were much smaller than what they used to be because of this split that happened under some poor, it was really some poor leadership. So my job coming in, I thought, well am I just here to bury people? That really is what I was thinking. I was thinking, God that's an honor, you know.
Terra:Mean I really am honored that I get to honor people and their lives and glorify you at the same time, but I think I have more to offer. Know, what is it that you want me to do? And the Lord, I mean just as soon as I said that to him, could feel him and hear him say to me, Tara, I've called you to love me with all that you are and to love people as yourself as I have loved you, love my people. That's all I'm asking you to do. You don't have to have a magical program, you don't have to have all these things you know, you don't even have to know what's going to happen.
Terra:Just do what I ask you to do. Please love me and love my people. What a release that was for me. What a release that was because that gave me a freedom just to be me and to love because you've known me for a long time my brother and you know that that's a gift that I have, love. It just comes out of me.
Terra:And so I thought well that's easy God. I don't have anything to lose just by loving you and loving your people. And so that's what I wanted to share. That's how I've changed. I I came from, you know, where I learned grace and forgiveness and to just loving people where they are and loving God with all that I am.
T. J.:Yeah. That would be one of the worst that I would describe you as love. I see I see on social media. I'm not on a lot. But, Tara, I don't know if there's anybody who loves Jesus more than you do from your social media post.
T. J.:And I say that with a grin, and I also say that with truth as well because you really put out your relationship with Christ out there for others and and have no shame. None whatsoever.
Terra:Thank you for that.
T. J.:And that leads me to my next question for you. What is it about God that just keeps you coming back and identifying with the Christian faith?
Terra:You know, He's so good. God is so good, it's His goodness. It's the faithfulness of God. God is so faithful, never fails, and I've seen that time and time again in my life because for me to come from where I was, you would never dream that I'd be where I am today. And when I began to have those moments where I we all have them.
Terra:I don't I believe that was I believe that Mother Teresa had her moments too, you know. I believe that everybody that has a faith walk, you have your moments. And through those moments, God brings me back with his loving kindness. And I just keep thinking of that scripture, it's a loving kindness that leads us to repentance, know, but it says loving kindness too, not only does it lead us to repentance but it also sustains us. You know, God is so kind and so pure and so good and so loving that I just I feel like Jeremiah, when Jeremiah was like, I don't want to tell them, You know?
Terra:But I can't stop it. It's in my bones. You know? The fire is in my bones, and I can't stop it. That's how I feel about it.
Terra:Oh,
T. J.:I wanted to ask you. You had brought this up before we started recording. You said you have an interesting story of how you became Cumberland Presbyterian.
Terra:Yes.
T. J.:So I don't know this. So tell share your story. Tell me.
Terra:It it it is really you know, I didn't realize how unique it was till Barry Anderson told me how unique it was when I was in his class in seminary. Going back to, my stepmother's father who was an amazing, and his wife as well was amazing influential people in my life and my faith. They attended a little church, in the country, of course living in Pope County there's more deer than there are people, so that's horrible. It's a beautiful countryside, it really is. But there was a small church in the middle of nowhere and it was called New Liberty Church and I mentioned that a little earlier, and it had a Cumberland Presbyterian church sign on it.
Terra:So I thought, well I must be Cumberland Presbyterian, right, because it was on the sign. And when I was in high school, this is just so amazing how God places you exactly, you know, you plan your course but he directs your steps. So I was standing outside my guidance counselor's office one day, I was probably about a junior in high school, something like that, and in her little, display was an old Bethel College catalog and it was totally out of date. But what grabbed me was it said at Cumberland Presbyterian College and I was like, well I'm Cumberland Presbyterian. I pick it up and I'm looking through it, and she comes around the corner and says, oh you're looking at college.
Terra:So I said, yeah, and I told her you know, well I attend on and off. I wasn't a perfect attendance church member then, but on and off we were in and out of church, and I said I go to this little church that is a common Presbyterian church one this time, so I must be common Presbyterian, right? She said, well yeah, you just take that catalog and I said, are you sure? She said, yes, I need to call them anyway and get a new one. She said, so you just take that one and you look over it and if you have any questions and anything I can help you just let me know.
Terra:So I took it home and I was thumbing through excited about the thought of going to college, and, you know, because it looked like it was gonna be impossible for me to do that. And, so then I called and, the admissions office and got a new catalog, got a packet and everything, know, and so that's that's my journey to get to Bethel, but I'm still technically not a common Presbyterian. Even though I was saved in under the leadership of of a junior Montinette church, he wasn't a Cumberland Presbyterian minister, he was just a logger that had a calling on his life per se. And I, you know, he it's just he was just a simple man, you know. And I, went to college and I well, I'm a Cumberland Presbyterian and, my sophomore year chaplain Anne Haynes came and, we were in our office.
Terra:I was like, well, I'm a Cumberland Presbyterian, and at that time I knew. I was called to the ministry, but I didn't know even what that looks like. I didn't even know what a session was, I didn't know what elders were, didn't get I didn't know any of that stuff, you know, how the church works, let alone what Presbytery was. So she says, don't see your name on the list because I said, well I'm a ministerial candidate. I just thought, hey I'm called to the ministry and I go to this church with a sign you know.
Terra:And she said, what's the name of that church? And she looked up and she said, this church is not in our in our book you know. She said, I think you need to find out the story behind that. So I did, I talked to, my grandpa, I asked him you know questions about it and he said before the 1984 ruling, that's in our general assembly, the property you know now goes to us, but before that it didn't. And it was a farmland that a family had donated that that church set on, and they that Crispacher at the time decided to close that church, but there was people who came to the farmers that owned the land and asked them if they could still meet, and he and the farmer told him, as long as there's a church there, we're good with donating that land.
Terra:But if the church ever stops to exist there, then we want the land back in our family. And so they continued to meet and they didn't tear the sign down for years. The sign was still New Liberty, Cumberland Presbyterian. Chaplain in Hume's helped me. At the time I was attending the Mackenzie first Common Presbyterian Church with the Reverend Larry Daly, who's gone on to be with Jesus.
Terra:And he was so kind and sweet and she said, well you just need to tell him your story. And so he came to chapel that week at Bethel, we sat down and talked and he was blown away by my story, and he told me to come to the session meeting. Now I wasn't even a member yet of the Mackenzie First Commonwealth Residentiary Church, I was just attending. The session heard my, he said, You've got to hear this girl's story. So I shared with them my story and my calling, and they were immediately like, Yeah, we'll take her.
Terra:You know, this is from God. He said, Wait a minute, we got to get her to join first. So I was a sophomore at Bethel when I officially became a common Presbyterian, but I really was a common Presbyterian all along.
T. J.:That's great. I had never heard that story before. That's pretty cool.
Terra:It really is about how god directs your steps. It's just amazing.
T. J.:Let's jump into the present.
Terra:Yes.
T. J.:Tara, where do you see god working in the world today?
Terra:Oh, wow. I I say wow because I do see God moving in such ways. I feel like what I see is people paying more attention to people, and I think that, we have lived in probably the past decade or so, we've lived in such a fast paced society in a world that through this pandemic, have seen God slow us down, and I've seen people actually care about people. So I've seen a lot more praying going on and seeing God working and through that, and you and I both know that when we pray, not only does God lovingly hear our prayers, but we also grow closer to God, our prayer lives, and we also see God's faithfulness and how God answers those prayers. So that's what I that's how I see God.
Terra:He's he's showing people that God is real.
T. J.:Great. Tara, where do you see God working in your life today?
Terra:Oh, wow. I One of my phrases at Marlow is wow God because I have seen God move so much. I in my personal life, God, a couple years ago, I God called me to plant to to actually plant roots somewhere. I've used to I'm used to being a person who's just like, wherever God wants me to go, I'll go, and I'm still that person very much so, but it was hard for me to commit in that way of God's telling me it's time for you to plant some some roots down. And so I purchased my very first home, about, almost a year and a half ago probably, and I've been trying to save, do it the right way, save money and work on it.
Terra:It's an older home so it needs work, but it's a just a cute little two bedroom, one bath house that's perfect for me and Albert and Kelly, my two cats. And, it's really cute and it has a lot of potential, and so I was like, well you know this will teach, you know this is gonna be good, this will teach me how to be a homeowner and also the progress of a project you know. And so God has been so good to me in that process and how that happened. And so and then and then just seeing God's hand in providing for me. God has always provided for me, you know, got an education that I normally shouldn't have had because God provided for me.
Terra:God places me in the right places. I you know, I've been pastoring for years, that's unusual. Let's be honest, not everybody agrees with females. In ministry, they don't even in the common Presbyterian church some, know, but, right out right out of seminary, I landed my first pastor, you know, and I look back on that. And the reason why I'm using the past to belong with the present is because I see God's faithfulness
T. J.:Mhmm.
Terra:In all of that. And, I've been, doing a series out of Romans. I started it before Christmas and we stopped during Advent and Christmas, and then God's brought us back into Romans. And when I read Romans, all I see is grace. God's grace.
Terra:And so for me in my life, I'm learning to have grace with myself. I have grace for everybody else. I will forgive somebody quicker, you know because God's forgiven me. But I have a hard time forgiving myself. Help me.
Terra:And I know I'm not the only one out there that has that problem, but by, you know, doing this sermon series and by just things in my own life and reading the scriptures, it's just really shown me grace and it's okay to mess up. It's okay to to, not have it all together, you know, every day. It's okay to, just just be sometimes, you know, and also to God's grace, through this ministry. Marlow has been amazing. We we have, you know, when I came it was probably around twenty, twenty five people and they were all predominantly older.
Terra:I think the youngest were two grandchildren of grandparents that are raising their grandchildren. We have two children, now they're 11 and six but at the time they were six and two. One almost, I think it was two. So know, to watch them grow has been awesome. But, you know, it it most people looking in would go, why are you here?
Terra:You're so young, you know, and you're in this congregation. But through the power of the Lord and through diligence and through seeing the needs of people and just me being me, know, God using his grace once again to be me, we have seen so much change. Know, we've seen new life in our church and our attendance has gone up. It's doubled and it's it's not because of me, it's because of God using me. The only thing that has to do with me is me being willing to be used by God.
Terra:Mhmm. And so that's that's has really increased my faith, you know, by watching the faithfulness of God and the grace of God have forgiven myself.
T. J.:Well, speaking of church, what hopes, what ideas do you have for the church presently and moving into this new decade?
Terra:The first thing that I desire for the church to do is first love God with all that they are and love their neighbor as themselves. I know that that sounds like a well that's just an easy answer, but it's really not because we have a hard time doing that sometimes. And I think that my hopes and dreams is for the church to fall and keep the first love, fall in love with the first love, and then be as as we fall in love with God, it makes us wanna be the hands of Christ. And that's my desire is to continue to be the hands and feet of Jesus and loving people where they are, agreeing to disagree. Unity is a big thing and I know that's probably across the board a big thing right now, but I want the church to be a unit, you know, and to because we have a job to do.
Terra:Our job is to to go out and show Jesus to the world, and how can we do that when we're arguing all the time about stuff? You know, we need to just, it's okay. You know, it's okay to think differently and you just grow together and that's what God's given me for 2021. In the middle of a sermon, God literally stopped me and said, grow together, and that's our theme at Marlow this year is to grow together, not be isolated. Because for so many years I was, it was just the Holy Spirit in me, you know, of learning who God is and through reading the Bible and my prayer time and all that, and and God has shown me that I'm not a lone soldier, that I have a whole community, you know, that that I get to work with and that it's okay to make mistakes once again.
Terra:And so my hope and dream is for people to be real. Want, and going into the next decade, I want people to be real because being real is what draws the loss in. You know when you can say, look I make mistakes, or look I have a past, or look I still make mistakes today, you know, but God loves me regardless of my mistakes. I think that that is the most effective ministry that we can do and, a prayer that we've been praying here at Marlow for a few years has been send the workers because the harvest is ripe and ready but the workers are few. And Jesus said, pray to the Lord of harvest.
Terra:And so that's what we've been doing. So I wanna see the church harvest.
T. J.:Well, tell you what, Terry, you're a good example. No one can accuse you of not being real.
Terra:Thank you. That's awesome.
T. J.:How can we continue to follow you on your faith journey?
Terra:One one thing that I try to do, and I've and I've been kind of staying away a little bit, honestly, Facebook so much. I get on enough to see if there's any, people contact me a lot for prayers and various things and messenger across the churches I've been pastored before, been involved with, or other people. So I try to stay in touch that way, but honestly I've been off of Facebook a lot due to all of the chaos that's been going on, but I want to tell you that God has been calling me once again. He's been reminding me, hey it's time for you to get back on, you know, it's time for you to share again, you know. And so that's probably the biggest way of doing that is, Facebook and we also do, we just started, recording our whole services recently.
Terra:We're very much new to it all, so just please have patience with us. It's on our Marlow, CPC page on Facebook, and if anybody wants questions or you know, if they want to see how things are going, I'll be more than glad to talk with them because you know me, I love talking about Jesus.
T. J.:Tara, thank you for coming on Cumberland Road. Thank you for sharing your story. It it has inspired me. You've made me laugh, and you've challenged me to to think about love and grace even more deeply.
Terra:Oh, thank you so much. It's an honor. Thank you.
T. J.:So thank you for joining us. Tell a friend and travel on our next journey down Cumberland Road.
